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24.11.2024. Paphos!

Paramytha, Cyprus

Yesterday we visited Paphos for the first time.

As we drove up to the city, it gleamed under the noon sun, all clad in white and spread out along the deep blue Mediterranean coast. It’s smaller than Limassol, also hillier, and a bit perplexing. A challenging place, I realize it now.

There are angular buildings from the 90s or early 2000s, there are others that look newer and are all resorts, and it all lies on top of ruins and limestone. There are hills, elevators, and an old town populated with cotton candy-colored shops, freshly painted, on some streets, on others the buildings feel almost abandoned. I turned a corner and encountered a huge image of the Eiffel Tower inside a courtyard that is labeled “Ibrahim’s Khan.” The grey-stoned mosque is nearby. Some tavernas are lively and full, but the streets still feel somehow hollow and empty, it’s Saturday. On the roads, cars fight for space around rotundas, and it seems suddenly like that’s where everyone is, in their cars, going somewhere, if not in a taverna.

Our visit to Paphos was motivated by the Tombs of the Kings, a major archaeological site and necropolis for the wealthy and powerful of the late BCs. Stone cut niches once filled with Hellenistic or Ptolemaic sarcophagi and treasure now house pigeons, which are native to Western Asian stone, along with the recently arrived Asian hornets. They house a damp and dusty darkness too, it’s an emptiness that feels dense. Uncanny in its weight, as if the dark voids that were carved into the earth were not empty at all.

Yellow-white stone with cracks and erosion that frames the entry to a dark cavity, within there are burial niches..
Fig 1. Tombs cut into Paphos Limestone.

And it’s because they aren’t, there’s always something floating around us that we can’t see—oxygen, carbon dioxide, dust, UV rays, PM2.5.

What fascinates me that most about visiting archaeological sites is how the experience deconstructs a sense of normalcy; something that can also happen in a classroom, especially when studying history, astronomy, literature. But at a site, it happens in a very physical way. Suddenly, I am standing at the edge of this hole in the ground, and I see doric columns below me, rising up as if holding up the rock and ground that I stand on.

To borrow a cliché, my perspective is shifted, literally. The usual rules of the game, on how to interact with a building or a space, are challenged. As much as the exposure to different narratives through books and film and conversations serves to challenge our preconceptions, there is something about movement—moving through a space and experiencing distances, heights, depths differently—that hits home differently. It’s a very visceral reminder of the vastness of pretty much everything: the planet, history, culture, microbiology, outer space, which is fun to encounter on what is a “small” island like Cyprus.

Dithered purple sunset at a beach with a black silhouette of a group of people and the sand beneath.
Fig 2. Aphrodite's Beach.

Ever since I took a history class on Salsa music and dance a few years back, I’ve been noticing how the concept of “embodiment” pops up from time to time. And if I really think about it, my undergraduate capstone course on Cervantes' short stories also had these body-centered themes, it's what I wrote my paper on for that class. For context, I grew up very "mind" centered, which has gradually changed throughout my early adulthood. So it's interesting to think very deliberatively about what it means to be "in" a body or to be a body (and that's a whole discussion in it of itself), especially in thinking about how movement can be an act of knowledge-making or knowledge-sharing (something we usually associate exclusively with "the mind"). And what about storytelling? I also find it interesting how controlling movement can be a powerful tool in the hands of authorities, and how encouraging certain types of movements can also foster collective myths—thinking of Youth Groups in Nazi Germany or cults that have their members do physical labor or specific types of sport. And well, there is a reason that movement is also social, cultural, political, like the labor or the feminist movement.

Moving around Cyprus has been very interesting (especially without owning a car). Yesterday, we ended our latest mini-trip, daylight fading fast, at a curving pebbly beach, which myths tell is the birthplace of Aphrodite.

- Andrea

06.11.2024. Glimmers of Spring as Winter Sets In

Limassol, Cyprus

There are more birds in Paramytha now than when we first arrived. They sing from a scenery that is greener now due to the rains that have arrived with them and with the end of summer. The days are still warm, but the nights are fresh, now populated by new scents, awakened by the humidity that has set in.

When it rains, it pours, and that’s exactly what has happened in Limassol, where even a tornado was spotted during a recent, sudden thunderstorm. All the while, the air was heavy with dust and particles swept up from the Sahara. Coughing, cold, soaked, it was hard to not feel like Cyprus delivers new low after low. That every time I try to crawl out of sickness, weariness, stress, there is a new test.

But this post is not about that. Not directly. It is about the next day, when I headed out to the local taverna for a Halloumi wrap—a dinner staple in the many times when cooking felt unachievable. Milos Taverna was a bit emptier than usual, the lights dimmer. The two men who seem to run the place were hard at work in back room. It turned out that the thunderstorm and wind had produced leaks, and they had to clean everything up. The taverna was closed. And even so, there was a bit of dry charcoal leftover, and they insisted on making me something.

That small act of kindness despite the headache they were dealing with really touched me. I felt guilty too, after all, running a business is tough. I didn’t want to put them through more trouble, and I wondered how I could tip them as a thank you. But when it came time to pay, he handed me the pita and told me it was on the house.

It seems like these past few days after the rain, I notice glints and glimmers of this sort of kindness all around. A kind word from an old professor, genuine curiosity about my work from a stranger, a joke from the barista at the usual café.

In spite of winds, dust storms, viruses, and the terrible weight of a day like today, glimmers of kindness persist and remind me of what is worth nurturing and protecting.

- Andrea

31.10.2024. On Milestones and Sisyphean Boulders

Limassol, Cyprus

This is a celebratory log, despite the titular allusion to the Greek underworld. What I wrote about back in September has happened, I've been published.

Today, the second issue of The Madrid Review was released, which marks my poetry debut, and in Spanish! Three little poems, that's it, but it's a fulfilment of bookish childhood dreams. As I've mentioned before, books always seemed like such authoritative items, and it did not fit into my mind that my words could actually be printed inside "official" books. All the while, I was constantly creating magazines and books from colored construction paper, notebook pages, Word Documents and anything else I could get ahold of.

What makes October 2024 doubly special is that it was also my short fiction debut in English with The Good Life Review.

These milestones have been made possible by two amazing teams of editors who recently started their own literary magazines (The Madrid Review was founded just a few months ago), who don't make a profit and volunteer their time enliven the arts, life. It's inspiring to see them do this work, and it makes me think that one day I would like to do this too. For now, I will continue to write and do my best to support their work (go subscribe and follow!).

I've fulfilled a dream, and yet I've really struggled to celebrate.

Time for the boulder section of this masonry-themed post. Just at the moment I thought I had settled into Cyprus, life hit me like a ton of bricks. I spent almost half of October with a nasty cold, that left me feeling very behind. I became so focused on all things I failed to do, that little room was left for recognition of what I had worked so hard to accomplish. Two weeks of illness was followed by two weeks of mounting stress.

I fell into a trap that I was well aware of, an inherited one. Guilt of being sick, of failing to do, as if illness is a personal failure. It's deeply imbedded into the extreme work cultures of a lot of Colombians. Contrary to the racist stereotypes about "lazy" and "fiesta" Latin Americans, we work some of the longest hours on the planet, and it's killing us (among many other things). I've seen the damage this has done to close family. I've always tried to avoid this outlook, but it caught up to me this month.

This week I've needed to snap out it, slow down again and go back to the basics.

I don't want writing, creating, learning, reading, to just be a rat race, always reaching for something that we imagine to be better. I want to be anchored in the present to observe and live where I've moored, rather than always focusing on that "next" destination. It's a privilege to be able to do so. Ultimately, one day there won't be a next destination.

« Il faut imaginer Sisyphe heureux ».

- Andrea

29.10.2024. Personal Tools

Paramytha, Cyprus

Recently, I finished up Donald Norman's An Invisible Computer. It's a fantastic book, probably one of my favorite books, and it starts off with a powerful quote:

The personal computer is perhaps the most frustrating technology ever. The computer should be thought of as infrastructure. It should be quiet, invisible, unobtrusive, but it is too visible, too demanding. It controls our destiny. Its complexities and frustrations are largely due to the attempt to cram far too many functions into a single box that sits on the desktop. The business model of the computer industry is structured in such a way that it must produce new products every six to twelve months, products that are faster, more powerful, and with more features than the current ones.

As much as I like it, however, one concept I disagree with is what he concludes and also titles the book, that technology should be completely invisible. By invisible, he means that technology should blend so seamlessly into our everyday life that we do not notice it is there.

[.. talking about the goal of technology] The end result, hiding the computer, hiding the technology, so that it disappears from sight, disappears from consciousness, letting us concentrate upon our activities, upon learning, doing our jobs, and enjoying ourselves.

Sounds great in theory, in practice of course what we find is that companies make something that is easy to use, and then do not necessarily act in the users' best interest, but the user is stuck with what the company provided and is neither empowered to seek out other options nor fix it. I think this is an anti-pattern, and I talk about this in depth in my essay, The Curse of Convenience.

However, there is also another section that I found particularly interesting and shines a light on where I think technology should go, which is Norman's idea about what makes a good tool. Norman has this to say:

Good tools are always pleasurable ones, ones that the owners take pride in owning, in caring for, and in using. In the good old days of mechanical devices, a craftperson's tools had these properties. They were crafted with care, owned and used with pride. Often, the tools were passed down from generation to generation. Each new tool benefited from a tradition of experience with the previous ones so, through the years, there was steady improvement.

I do not feel like modern phones and computers are like this kind of tool. A good retro camera is something we learn inside out, with its quirks and unique abilities, and becomes part of our hobby and personality. This is not so much the case with a modern iPhone. Modern technology removes as much personalization as possible and makes it hard to repair for the sake of convenience, looks and ease-of-use. That means that you do not put effort into learning your tool nor personalizing it, and so as a result do not appreciate it as much. Instead of customizing and learning about your unique device, you buy a new one, that acts just like the old one. Devices become impersonal and invisible.

In a recent interview, Norman laments the fact that his all time best-seller, Design of Everyday Things, did not cover that tools should be designed to be repairable too. To me, repairability is in opposition to his idea of technology becoming invisible. At the same time, I think repairability and customization goes hand in hand with his idea that you should feel pride in owning a tool, and that that is what makes a good tool. A device that you tweak and make truly your own, you will care for more and want to repair as well. As I replace parts of my Thinkpad and change the way it looks and feels, I find it becomes more personal to me.

- Marc

30.09.2024. War and Words

Lofou, Cyprus

Today we are in Lofou, a small village located 20 minutes north from Paramytha. It is another dreamy place that has preserved its beautiful stone architecture. In the café-restaurant that we sit at, a calm and cool atmosphere gives peace. We are surrounded by books, ceramics, dried plants, wood, art, the blue sky and a green garden.

I have Javier Darío Restrepo’s Pensamientos: Discursos de ética y periodismo with me, which I read from a beautifully and simply designed armchair. Pensamientos reminds me of home. Life feels joyful.

Stone fireplace surrounded by books and ceramic plates and two armchairs facing it in the foreground.
Fig 1. Cosy hearth at Lofou.

And yet, whenever I pull up a map, I am reminded that we are now just off the coast of Lebanon. Perhaps an hour-long flight from Gaza. If I zoom out, I notice that we are on the same longitude as Ukraine, we share the same time zone.

I was born surrounded by violence, but in Bogotá, you are always on your guard, even if the city is safer now than what it used to be, and a lot safer than what other parts of Colombia are still like today. Here, in this idyllic village, however, the contrast feels starker, somehow.

During a brief period in my early adulthood, (outright) war between nations went from feeling unthinkable to almost inevitable. I know this isn’t true, violence and injustice have been and continue to be ever-present. The turn of the century was incredibly bloody for Colombia with the "war on drugs." But it does feel that now there has been a broader mental shift: that before war and violence were somehow more unacceptable globally, and so different actors undertook violence in slyer and stealthier ways. Political discourse around military attacks and violent action was not so forthright. Some people may say, as has been said about Trump, “at least they’re being honest now, showing their true colors.”

However, I don’t agree. I think that the fact that a full-scale war was “unthinkable” for many people was a good thing. The fact that we have mental red lines is important, even if humanity does not always live up to these standards. To me, the goal should be to denounce and expose the ways governments, businesses, and individuals get around what is deemed right and the ways in which they have been hypocritical. We should hold them accountable for that lofty discourse on peace and tolerance, make them meet the standard, instead of giving in and making war and violence an “acceptable” and “inevitable” part of our everyday in the name of "honesty".

For a long time, I’ve felt a natural pull towards pacifism. However, I understood well the people who critiqued it, we need to defend ourselves from those who commit harm after all, don’t we? We need to be able to fight back, right? What’s the alternative?

While I don’t have any answers, I have realized I need to listen to that instinct that protests against violence, conflict, and war. It is an instinct that has been coupled with a life-long interest in literature and art that expresses and describes the ravages of violence, systematized: from Primo Levi, Tim O’Brien and Harper Lee to Maryse Condé, Alain Resnais, and Isabel Allende. It was first the memoirs from Holocaust survivors followed by the accounts of the military dictatorships in South America and then the testimony of the brutality of slavery in the Caribbean that have over time constructed my conviction for justice and accountability, but also at the same time, for nunca más.

“Never again” is always associated with World War II, but in Colombia, never again continues to be called for even as Colombians continue to suffer and die every day due to ongoing violence. Our “armed conflict” is unique in the way that the categories of victims and victimizer are not always so neatly separated. As the writer Rodolfo Celis Serrano describes in his autobiographic shorts on life in the Usme neighborhood of Bogotá: the things that he did while living under the threat of violence bring him shame and guilt. Celis was displaced from his home, a victim of the armed groups that took over the territory, and yet he himself complicates the category of “victim” by highlighting his own guilt. In Colombia, we have to reckon with reintegrating combatants and civilians of all types into peaceful communal living, while at the same time trying to balance this with the pursuit of justice and accountability.

And there are so many Colombian thinkers and artists and activists that have been working through the inherent paradoxes of prolonged and systemic violence for years.

One of them was Javier Darío Restrepo, who I am currently reading. For my next log entry, the “September Reads” entry. I want to reflect on Restrepo’s writing along with the work of Jean Giono, another author who I also read and rediscovered this month.

Their writing has given much to think about what peace means, as real action and not just a “utopian” concept. In their writing, I’ve found that same visceral rejection to war and violence—that it is senseless at its core, even with all the justifications that we try to dress it up with. In their writing, I’ve also confirmed that this rejection of war does not entail sacrificing strong convictions about rights and wrongs, it doesn’t equal apathy or “neutrality” in the face of cruelty, injustice, and inhumanity.

“El carácter del conflicto, su prolongación en el tiempo, la complejidad y multitud de los elementos en juego, el constante juego de la desinformación—que no es accidental sino parte de la táctica guerrera—, crean una atmósfera de confusión tal que la gente muere todos los días sin saber por qué muere”. – Javier Darío Restrepo, Pensamientos (p. 221)

« Il faut sinon se moquer, en tout cas se méfier des bâtisseurs d’avenir. Surtout quand pour battre l’avenir des hommes à naître, ils ont besoin de faire mourir des hommes vivants ». – Jean Giono, Refus d’obéissance (p. 14)

- Andrea

29.09.2024. Wonderment at Kalopanagiotis

Paramytha, Cyprus

Only 24 hours ago we were there: tucked away in the tight valleys of the Troodos (Τρόοδος) mountains, traversing twists and turns under a brilliant blue sky and the gaze of tall pines. Villages hung from the mountainside, and one of these was Kalopanagiotis (Καλοπαναγιώτης).

Of the high highs and low lows that have characterized my first few days on Cyprus, Kalopanagiotis is literally and figuratively a very high high. The drive up from the southern coast into the mountains offers views that words do little justice to. Near Mount Olympus, the highest peak of the island, the view of the northern coast appears, and Cyprus feels suddenly small again, like when seen on a map for the first time. It is a unique feeling to reach a mountain peak and to be able see the physical constraints that the sea places on land.

It’s so different from the huge, continental places I grew up in that felt boundless.

Dithered mountain landscape with blue skies and a red flower in the foreground.
Fig 1. View from a terrace in Kalopanagiotis (images, like words, can also feel insufficient, at times).

I first discovered this feeling of "boundedness" in Guadeloupe, which despite its very small size on the map felt bigger than Cyprus. I think it probably is, maps do distort, after all. And still, I remember going to Terre-de-Haut in Les Saintes, going to the highest peak and realizing that I could see the entire island from there, all around me. Even stronger was the feeling of going up to Saint Cloud and looking out and down onto the coast on which I lived, walked, worked, everyday. While the sea was breathtaking and gave that familiar sense of vastness, seeing the long but limited coast so perfectly drawn out, made the feeling of boundary visceral.

But back to Kalopanagiotis, which is to dive back down into the earth. It hugs a small creek with lush vegetation, giving the village a very intimate feeling. Instead of just looking down, I found myself looking up a lot, at the peaks, the sky, the buildings and streets above us. Despite the smallness of the village, it felt like there were not enough hours in the day to stroll through its narrow roads and river paths, once, twice, thrice. Kalopanagiotis is also penetrated by history, with its Byzantine artwork and archaeological remains of monasteries, baths, and water mills. At the same time, local businesses are vibrant and include a winery, artisanal stores, fusion restaurants and more. Nature, archaeology, art, artisanat, and the culinary arts—I couldn’t ask for more.

But when I try to capture the wonderment that I felt, I am reminded how insufficient words often are. There is no list of its attraction detailed enough to really capture that feeling.

I would have to resort to art, rather than a log entry (What’s the difference? Can’t anything be art? But there is a difference, I can feel that there is.), to piece together that joy of discovering someplace beautiful, new, and already nostalgic.

- Andrea

29.09.2024. Pour-over | First attempt

Paramytha, Cyprus

Grounded coffee. Floral, strong fruits, jasmine.
Fig 1. Tesfaye Coffee from Ethiopia. Vendor lists notes of floral, strong fruits and jasmine.

Equipment

Method

1. Rinse the filter, pour out the excess water
2. Pour 20g grounded coffee, shake gently to level.
3. Pour first 50g of water in a circular motion, wait 30 secs.
4. Pour second 150g in a circular motion, wait 10-20 secs.
5. Shake gently to level.
6. Pour last 120g, totaling 320g
7. Shake gently to level.
8. Wait for pour over to complete

Observations

Results

Conclusions

The goal is to brew for coffee with less bitterness and more aroma. Variables we can tweak are:

We also recognize that some of the limits are due to the equipment.

- Marc & Andrea

26.09.2024. Halfway Across the World

Limassol, Cyprus

We arrived in Cyprus almost exactly one week ago. Today I sit at a café in Limassol, looking at out the lively and sunny street near the center of town, and I feel as if I had only just arrived. As if newly landed.

View of an empty café with tables and chairs in the foreground and the street through large windows in the background. A palette of browns and blues.
Fig 1. Tucked away in the streets of Limassol.

Like any change, moving always requires effort, usually new and unusual sorts of effort. After a lifetime of moving from here to there, I like to think that I have strategies in place to help me in these moments of transition. And yet, it can be hard, and it has been hard.

The countryside of a new country has special surprises, especially for city people, and I realize more and more that I am city person—despite my love for hiking and nature. Encountering sand flies for the first time, a drought for the third time this year, and challenges in transportation, all while coming down with a cold, is not too much fun. Even if we expected some challenges (like the transportation one), there's no way to sugarcoat the truth, it’s been tough.

I also realize how much I cherish my self-sufficiency, which is to say my independence. Not being able to address challenges from the get-go due to feeling unwell and not knowing how things worked made me feel trapped, and helpless.

And yet, things have slowly fallen into place, with some patience and initiatives to put things in order. Now, it feels like life is ready to begin again.

This experience made me reflect on some other challenging moves I've gone through, two of which were even more challenging, not to say distressing. Moving to Paris, for one, and also Vieux-Fort in Guadeloupe (another island) tested me in more ways than one. Stockholm was also tough in the first three days, but overall, less tough than the first week of Paramytha. Even with those rough starts, I've yet to regret moving someplace new, it has always ended up being enriching and marvelous (even with new challenges that appear, like the COVID-19 pandemic while I was in Gwada) and I hope this holds true for Paramytha, Limassol, and Cyprus generally.

- Andrea

22.09.2024. Chautauqua

Paramytha, Cyprus

Currently I am reading the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and it is divided into several Chautauquas. Chautauquas began as part of a social movement during mid-20s America and they consisted of educational events full of "entertaining lectures, performances and/or concerts". The story of Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance uses this concept to deliver philosophical insights in a way that is more entertaining to the reader, and uses, as you might guess, motorcycle maintenance to talk about what is the meaning of quality and why quality matters.

- Marc

20.09.2024. Emacs the Computing Environment

Paramytha, Cyprus

I love Emacs as a system, even if it is a bit slow and bloated. People joke that Emacs is a great OS that is missing a text editor, and well while Emacs does not handle persistence, concurrency, virtualization yadda yadda which an OS normally should, it is certainly not just a text editor. I think of it as a computing environment.

Compared to Kakoune or Neovim that opens in milliseconds, Emacs loads in seconds. Many features have noticeable delays that just feel like they should be smoother, and you wonder if there aren’t a few features that could be cut. But despite that, I think it adds so many interesting utilities and features that I just wish were available in regular Unix.

There is without a doubt a certain charm to Emacs and some features I would love to bake into Unix and terminal ecosystem:

I would like to use a Unix terminal instead of a Lisp VM like Emacs, as I do prefer an ecosystem where you are not just bound to Lisp but can use whatever tool you want. In theory a lot of what Emacs can do is feasible in Unix, but in practice the ecosystem is far behind. If you are like me in that you basically live within your terminal, I find that you are better served by a system like Emacs.

- Marc

11.09.2024. August Reads

Bogotá, Colombia

While we are now well into September, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on some memorable August reads, books that I still think about and will be thinking about for a while.

I read two books last month, one poetry and one prose (very unconventional prose, however).

Two books on a grey wood background. On the left El libro uruguayo de los muertos and on the right El oficio de vivir.
Fig 1. El libro uruguayo de los muertos and El oficio de vivir

El oficio de vivir, or (roughly) The craft/work of living, is a collection of poetry by María Mercedes Carranza. Compiled posthumously and prefaced by her daughter, the collection sinks, poem by poem, deeper into the despair that plagued Carranza, especially in her final years. Despair about aging, despair about Colombia’s endless violence, despair about injustice, meaninglessness, despair about despair. Death weighs heavy on almost every page. It is so well-written that her words manage to covey the hollowness of depression in a way that I have not seen captured in any other piece of writing (even books and memoirs about war or genocide). It is grim, very grim.

El libro uruguayo de los muertos, or The Uruguayan Book of the Dead, on the other hand was much less grim, despite of the title. It did take me a very long time to read. Along with García Márquez’s El otoño del patriarca, it might be one of the toughest books I’ve ever gone through. In short snippets destined to a mysterious correspondent, Mario Bellatin melds fact and fiction to speak about everything and anything. Some themes do stand out: writing, publishing, illness, death, family, truth, falsehood and mysticism. Like the Twirling Dervishes he describes, cyclical snippets of narrative appear, disappear, only to reappear later, the same or almost the same or altered incomprehensibly. Temporality is warped, contradictions appear, and, as a reader, offering resistance only makes the read more painful. At some point you just have to let go and let Bellatin take you on a trip that goes round and round. And in the end, I was left a bit dizzy, I must admit.

El oficio de vivir was close to making it on my favorites list—it is a work of art. But the art that resonates with me the most is that which peers into the void, but with defiance. There is a will to live and an affirmation of life, the renewal of life. With Carranza, we succumb to the void, even if the last poem of the collection offers a glimmer of hope.

Mario Bellatin’s Salon de belleza (Beauty Salon) is one of my favorite books, but I can’t say the same of El libro uruguayo de los muertos. There are very interesting ideas about the nature of truth and fiction, about the pain of creation, and about life, death and creation as cyclical. The unconventional form resonated with these themes, but maybe it went on for too long. But then again, watching Twirling Dervishes perform is fascinating, but it can also feel eternally long after a while. But isn’t that what we’re all after, eternity? Reading El libro uruguayo de los Muertos definitely felt like it took an eternity too, but maybe that's what Bellatin was trying to do—approach eternity, which also means to approach death.

Other Interesting August “Reads”

- Andrea

10.09.2024. Laptop - Bogo

Bogotá, Colombia

Bogo is my Thinkpad T480s that has served as my primary laptop since 2019.

Desktop screenshot of CWM, xclock in the bottom left and a terminal with an open text document.
Fig 1. Bogo - Thinkpad T480S.

System Description:

Screenshot of CWM, urxvt and xclock
Fig 2. Bogo - Desktop Screenshot.

Bogo was serviced with a X1Y3 glass trackpad, new RAM and SSD after RAM reported faulty in 2024.

Blue Screen Reporting Ram Failures
Fig 3. Report of RAM failure.

- Marc

09.09.2024. Cloud Solutions Make It Hard to Measure Energy Usage

Bogotá, Colombia

Today I continued my exploration into measuring energy usage for a server. To my dismay I discovered that when running software within a VPS, measuring its energy usage becomes impossible. A VPS obscures the underlying hardware to protect other servers running on the same hardware. Theoretically, an attacker could use the energy data to perform side-channel attacks to extract private keys from other users, so there are good reasons to keep the data hidden in virtualized systems.

All the companies that I have worked for rely on VPSes and VMs, with no access to the underlying hardware. I imagine at this point it is pretty standard in the industry, which makes me think that few companies are able to measure their energy usage and understand the footprint of their backend.

It is unfortunate because sharing the hardware also means that we could leverage it more efficiently, and avoid over-provisioning hardware. At the same time, when you do not understand how much energy the software is using, it encourages wastefulness.

Related Reading

- Marc

07.09.2024. Great Software is Simple on Many Planes of Abstraction

Bogotá, Colombia

There is a dichotomy in software development, high-level and low-level software. This is particularly true in programming languages, where you have low-level languages that give you more control, but require more understanding of how computers work, and high-level languages that allow you to express your ideas more simply and allow you to not think about low-level details.

High-level software is called that because it operates at higher-levels of abstractions. This means that it obscures the lower level machinery of what happens, so that we can focus on the task at hand. For example, we would not want to think about how a web browser forms a TCP/IP connection, communicates with a DNS server etc. when opening a web page; at least we do not want to up until the point where we have some error.

High-level software unlocks the ability for us to perform more advanced tasks quicker with less mental overhead. It can also unlock a great deal of improved security, as it can restrict certain operations from the user and better adapt to their needs, which even if it removes some liberty is still desirable.

When we only focus on building a good high-level experience, it comes at the expense of low level control that becomes inaccessible or too complex for regular users. This invites us to be inefficient, construct false understandings, and without a deep understanding of our systems, we can not meaningfully fix the system nor optimize it. It invites us to outsource this control to experts, who are often restricted to building general solutions for many use-cases. Poor understanding often leads to rebuilding the same solutions over-and-over again, with the solutions becoming even more complex and inefficient each time. When only experts understand systems, it centralizes knowledge and power and makes the general population unaware of issues. I explored the democratic problems it leads to in my essay The Curse of Convenience.

Low-level tools gives us greater control and greater freedom. Understanding the lower-level units makes it easier for us to understand how everything fits together, and gives us the power to make the changes we wish. However, using only low-level tools makes it more difficult to cleanly express ideas and it can be a frustrating experience. It sometimes requires digging through manuals and the time it takes to accomplish tasks becomes much longer. It is also easier to make mistakes.

This dilemma leads me to solutions that attempt to be simple on many planes of abstractions. In programming languages such as Go and OCaml, the high-level semantics are simple, but a user can still also understand the lower-level details of what happens, which makes it possible to operate at a lower-level when necessary without being an expert. In software, Unix utilities find the balance of being simple and allowing users to express high-level ideas. Older motorcycles are easy to operate, and also easy to fix when necessary.

- Marc

07.09.2024. Communal Computing

Bogotá, Colombia

One of the most beautiful ideas behind the original Unix, that I think unfortunately has gotten lost and is underrated, was the idea of a form of collective computing. People would gather as a group and collectively build their tools specific to what their community needs. The way Dennis Ritchie described it:

What we wanted to preserve was not just a good environment in which to do programming, but a system around which a fellowship could form. We knew from experience that the essence of communal computing, as supplied by remote-access, time-shared machines, is not just to type programs into a terminal instead of a keypunch, but to encourage close communication.

Using a collection of simple tools, users would then be able to combine these together to build the tools specific to their needs on time-shared machines.

People sitting in a circle typing on typewriters, connected to the same computer.
Fig 1. Timesharing a Wang 3300 Basic. Source.

Another obvious advantage to collectively owned computers is that you retain ownership from the bigger companies, while at the same time can unlock better optimization where these computers can live in geographically advantageous regions. For example, Solar Protocol directs users to whichever server has the most sunlight.

There are a lot of advantages to empowering users to fix issues themselves rather than someone fixing their problems for them. I wrote about it extensively in my essay The Curse of Convenience. I also see with the new LLM models a resurgence of this idea in Maggie Appleton's essay about home-cooked software. Personally, I am skeptical that LLM's will enable this revolution, but I think her essay is still worth a read!

Today, there is a communal computing system that exist, it is the SDF. It is quite old and has been around since the 1987, and it definitely marketed towards a technical audience. It hosts a set of collective computers that any member can use for any purpose (within reason). With it people have set up a Lemmy instance and Mastodon instance. You also get a free email account with it. It also comes with a shell you can SSH into and do any kind of programming that you want.

Personally, I use SDF to host my notes with git. Doing that was as simple as ssh user@tty.sdf.org -t mkdir notes && cd notes && git init. Once done, I am able to access these notes from my phone, my laptop or wherever I happen to be. To clone it locally, I just run git clone user@tty.sdf.org:~/notes. I also hang out at their Lemmy instance.

Terminal screen showing Welcome to SDF Public Access UNIX system
Fig 2. SDF Public Access System.

- Marc

04.09.2024. Human Readable File Formats

Bogotá, Colombia

I have recently (ish) become interested in file formats. In particular, file formats that are human readable and human writable.

These formats have quite a few advantages:

But they also come with challenges:

To me the biggest beauty of these file formats is that they can outlive the software that created them. Even if I am on a foreign computer, without internet, hit with amnesia, I can still make sense of and modify these formats.

Software in some way or another takes data and outputs data, that's what a computer is meant to do. I think it is worth thinking about how we can make sure that the data generated outlives the software that made it, inspired by Permacomputing.

I kicked off a thread on Mastodon to see what kinds of human-readable data formats people know of. I am excited to see what people share.

- Marc

04.09.2024. Building Software is like Building a House

Bogotá, Colombia

Common startup-mentality is to move fast and break things. Books like Lean Startup also posits that startups should build "MVPs", which is an incomplete version of the product that allows you to test it on real users so that you can iterate on it.

All the talk is about being cheap and fast, which I also think is important for a startup. However, I think people get it wrong as well, because while it is good to be lean, the product should not be buggy, wasteful or low quality.

I think of software as similar to building a house. The fastest way to get a house up is building a house with poor foundations, using the cheapest brick with prebuilt modules but it is not necessarily so that anyone would want to live in such a house. Instead, invest in quality but build only a small section at the time; I believe the end result will be better and you will receive better feedback that way. So when coding let's make sure that the code is good, let's not neglect testing, but with a limited scope. Let's take the time to think about the visuals and the energy efficiency of the solution, because neglecting this affects the quality of the entire product, and energy efficiency is a social responsibility we all bear.

I also think of writing code akin to maintaining a house. If your code is bad and smelly, it is like working in a kitchen that has not been cleaned for months with dirty dishes in a sink. It is not a place where you want to work in, or inhabit.

- Marc

02.09.2024. On Learning How to Publish

Bogotá, Colombia

As of today, I have publications forthcoming in Hypertext Review, The Good Life Review and The Madrid Review. In the past two years, I have published at Americas Quarterly, Periódico de Libros, Pie de Página, and for Artists at Risk Connection.

I am not just listing this out as a way of self-recognition (which I struggle with), it is also a way to try to understand where I am at as a writer. I marvel at it still, that the texts that I spent hours drafting and tweaking and dialoguing with others about are out there, whatever that means. In a sense, I still don't really truly believe it.

Americas Quarterly magazine open in the foreground and in the background a busy NYC street.
Fig 1. Visual Arts feature on Oaxacan artist Dell Alvarado for Americas Quarterly.

From childhood, language and writing has always been a safe haven. I gravitated towards storytelling in the moments of most uncertainty. It was fun. Libraries were there no matter how many times I moved. I always knew I wanted to write, to be able to share images, thoughts, impressions, dilemmas with others.

However, a writing career never seemed like an option. Of course, a career involving writing, yes. But it was out of the question that I would just write. That wasn’t a real career, and most importantly, it was unsustainable for someone who had grown up at the cusp of poverty. Even when I majored in languages, literature, and the humanities--I imagined I needed to enter academia or do something else. And I did, I did do something else, and I found many additional passions in the social sciences, in anthropology, in film, in science.

I continued to write, but for myself. Other responsibilities quickly took up my time, responsibilities that I genuinely enjoyed tackling and that were within the fixed path laid out by my studies (which involved academic writing). But when the studies ended, or paused (who knows), and I had to think closely about what I really wanted to do, the urge to write, creatively, made itself known. But about what? And who would read it?

It turns out that I had published before, as a student. But I never took those achievements seriously. I downplayed the writing itself, for some reason, “it didn’t count”.

The first creative text that I published appeared a decade ago in the quarterly magazine, Just Poetry!!! This poem, “Fruit Salad is Heterogenous”, was just a faint memory in the back of my mind until I rediscovered the printed issue earlier this year. I didn’t even remember it had been printed. I certainly didn’t remember it had been one of the nominees for best of issue. And when I re-read it, I realized it was not half-bad for a high school student publishing and writing poetry for the first time. I surprised myself with those words, and they evoked feelings and memories that were valuable.

Dithered image of Just Poetry!!! issue opened to the page of the poem 'Fruit Salad is Heterogenous'.
Fig 2. Fruit Salad is Heterogenous.

Exactly ten years later, my first creative English narrative pieces and Spanish-language poetry are forthcoming, and it feels a bit unreal.

I am definitely no expert, far from it, and I am aware of all the ethical issues with the publishing industry, as with any industry, especially as journalism and print struggle financially. And yet, the efforts of small presses that I see here in Bogotá and online internationally are exciting (Hypertext and The Good Life, are non-for-profits; The Madrid Review is a volunteer effort). And even in more traditional media, there are people passionate about storytelling and I can discern (or a better word, vislumbrar) a way of breaking through and sharing stories and histories that matter with a variety of people. That prospect excites me.

Not to say I haven’t been discouraged by rejection (part and parcel of the process) or by a perceived shortage of time or disappointment in myself (self-doubt, or perfectionism). It has felt impossible at times. That feeling of failing to communicate something important, essential or the essential nature of that which I am trying to communicate. The hegemony of English also makes publishing in Spanish challenging--and I don’t want to feel pressured to write in English because of it. I want to write in English because I feel like it. And I want to be able to write in Spanish (or any other language) when I feel like it too.

In those times my friends and family have been essential, as well as the kind words of the readers who have found something worthwhile in my writing. But also, diving into the written works of others has been so important. Those books, poems, and articles that speak to me motivate me and give me courage. More on that next time.

- Andrea

02.09.2024. Homecoming + Logging

Bogotá, Colombia

Today is our first full day back in Bogotá and this is my first log entry for Comma Directory. Today, I want to reflect a bit on how I got here, both literally and metaphorically.

We had a rough trip back from Sasaima, Cundinamarca. Two buses with aggressive drivers, getting dropped off in an unfamiliar part of town, and then a taxi driver who fell asleep at the stop light (wishing that he does ok). These are the realities of traveling and living in Colombia, and even more so for most Colombians living day to day, struggling to survive.

For years, my family undertook this pilgrimage from Bogotá to Sasaima, and under much rougher conditions than we did. And despite of it all, visiting my great-grandparents’ farm was one of the happiest moments of the year, for as long as it lasted.

Landscape with mountains, sky and a cemetery in the foreground.
Fig 1. View of the cemetery in Sasaima, Cundinamarca.

I had never been to Sasaima before, by the time I was born the voyages had ceased, my great-grandfather had already passed away.

Being able to finally go to a place that meant so much to everyone and that I have heard so much about since childhood was very special. Eating almojabanas at the town square, going to the plaza (market) for lunch, hiking through the surrounding mountains, eating fresh mandarinas on the trail, and meeting kind people who love their town and are proud of the land—it was a wonderful parenthesis, a welcomed contrast from the grittiness of Bogotá.

But even with all its pollution, the crime, the poverty, and the painful memories embedded into these mountains, coming back to Bogotá is coming back home. This month I’ll leave Bogotá again and I am not sure exactly when I’ll be back. Like so many other times, but it never stops being painful. I am excited about what is to come, it is beyond my wildest dreams, life that is, it has been during the past ten years. Full of new beginnings, new opportunities, but those beginnings always come paired with goodbyes and (hopefully) see you laters.

I see logging as more than a recollection of important events or thoughts, but as a way to digest and accept that duality, so integral to life. Whether one travels or not, we are all constantly starting and ending. Moments, books, trips, meals, tasks, conversations.

A book and a journal on a bed in a wooden interior.
Fig 2. My latest read and the Rey Naranjo "Small Bibliographic Log" in Santa Inés, Sasaima.

Before Comma Directory I have been logging in journals, the analog way. However, I rarely keep them around and I almost never have wanted to re-read my entries. Too self-conscious of my own writing, unfettered and unedited. However, recently I have made the effort to keep the same journal, and also keep two additional analog logs on books and films. These logs are from the Rey Naranjo Editorial House, which is part of Bogotá’s very vibrant artistic scene. Their design is quite nice, they are compact and portable, and there’s a bit of humor and character infused into them. I’ve also managed to keep an agenda for the first time, which I bought at the beginning of the year in Oaxaca, that has also served as a nice writing space. More on writing next time.

- Andrea

28.08.2024. Social Apps with Email

Bogotá, Colombia

Email combined with isync, makes it is possible to access email offline and have it synced on a regular interval.

I looked around for options for having a shared TODO list with Andrea and sometimes the most obvious solution is what is in front of you. All the local-solutions that I have used in the past made sharing difficult, and neither one of us wanted to sign-up for some third-party service nor download an app just for TODO items. Then I started thinking about how I have always shared links with myself in the past, which was through email.

Well, thanks to fastmail's web filters, I was able to set up a specific email-address that Andrea and I could use to share TODO items between each other. All email sent to that email address ends up in my TODO inbox. How do I share TODO items? Well, just add Andrea on CC and then it's done. No sign-up to a new service needed. When the item is complete, I just reply done and then my email rule will automatically drag it to my Done archive.

Similarly, I use this as my social bookmarking service. I have a special email-address and a email rule so that when that address receives links from the right people, those links end up automatically in my links archive.

These two solutions work cross-device as well. All my devices have email so sharing across BSD, iOS, and Android becomes trivial. All of them support email.

This could be further extended with interfaces that operate on the isync directory. You could then have TODO apps that use email as a backend, and what is nice is that people would not need to download an app to operate on it, so it would be a form of "progressive enhancement".

- Marc

28.08.2024. Offline Website Documentation

Bogotá, Colombia

On most browsers, you can easily download and print a PDF version of a website for offline use by using Ctrl+P.

With that, you can save and render the PDF with Zathura or Mupdf. I discovered that my undervolted laptop actually struggles with Zathura for PDF rendering, however Mupdf renders the PDFs instantaneously.

However, another technique that might be nicer is to save the website page as Web Page (HTML only) and then convert it to a more readable plain-text format. That way it is much easier to search your documentation using grep or other Unix tools.

Terminal window displaying readable
documentation.
Fig 1. Rendering readable documentation from the terminal.

To do so Pandoc can be used to to convert it to a Markdown page.

pandoc my-site.html --to markdown_strict -o my-site.md

Markdown is not necessarily the most readable format though, so with some extra help of lowdown, we can render terminal-readable documentation.

NO_COLOR=true lowdown -tterm -o my-site.txt

With the power of Unix, we can pipe these commands together:

pandoc my-site.html --to markdown_strict |\
> NO_COLOR=true lowdown -tterm -o my-file.txt

Then we can read it with less

cat my-file.txt | less -R

- Marc

25.08.2024. Personal Database with Recutils

Bogotá, Colombia

I have began using recutils to build a database of what I have read, watched and also for references on how to do things.

The tool has a decent amount of utilities for querying data and its simple formatting means that even if recutils one day stops working, it would be trivial for me to build my own replacement.

Recutils collection including L'etranger by Albert Camus and Ishmael by Daniel Quinn.
Fig 1. Editing recfiles in Kakoune.

The usage becomes simple. To find all FreeBSD specific information, I can simply run the recsel -q freebsd ~/refs.rec and I will find all my Freebsd related references. I made an alias of it so I just have to type refs freebsd.

Three recfile rows shown on terminal: Backlight/brightness, Listing devices on Freebsd, blocking websites. Includes instruction
Fig 2. Output of running refs freebsd.

- Marc

25.08.2024. Gymnastics Rings

Bogotá, Colombia

Working out remotely can be challenging. When the gym is far away, staying in shape is a goal that can easily be sidelined.

To work out regularly and everywhere, I carry my favorite set of exercise equipment, the Gymnastics rings.

Gymnastics rings lying on the ground
Fig 1. Gymnastics rings.

These rings can be used anywhere you have a tree or bar to hang them up on, and enables you to perform a complete upper-body pull workout, which is hard to do without any form of equipment.

After 8 months, starting from scratch, I was able to unlock the ring muscle up with the help of a personal trainer.

Crude drawing of 3 steps for performing a muscle up.
Fig 2. The three steps of a muscle-up.

Over time, I transitioned over to exercising on my own. These days I follow the training programs sold byfitnessfaqs. I find his marketing to be a bit like snake-oil but the concepts he teaches are legit and the programs were recommended by my previous trainer. Though it should be said that these workouts should be supplemented with some of your own reading, as his training programs can be a bit light on theory.

On Reunion island, I would find a tree next to a small lake, hang up the rings, do my exercises and then jump into the lake and swim for a bit to cool myself down. On the best days the lake was completely empty of people.

A lush lake on Reunion Island
Fig 3. The lake on La Réunion where I would swim.

The simplicity of the wooden rings combined with being alone in nature makes it a meditative form of exercise.

- Marc

23.08.2024. Projecting Log Entries

Bogotá, Colombia

Comma Directory tries to set up a way to separate the facts, from the interpretation of the facts. The idea is to build up a set of log entries, that over time can be projected to build an interpretation of a novel idea or concept.

Originally inspired from event-sourced programming, this idea also has a certain resemblance to zettelkasten as well. In zettelkasten, you have build up a set of atomic notes, that you then combine to build up a novel idea.

A set of views projected to create an interpretation
Fig 1. Log entries projected to build an interpretation.

This process allows us to solidify our understanding of our own thoughts and make sure the ideas are grounded on a solid foundation. And if we get it wrong, we are able to reinterpret the information, without losing the raw source.

- Marc

23.08.2024. AI and Anxiety

Bogotá, Colombia

When ChatGPT 3 came out, I was initially terrified how it might make my job irrelevant and all creative professions along with it.

Now I have had time to let that fear simmer a bit, and I have changed my mind. These days, when I think about AI, I come to think about how irrelevant it is to the problem I face. For the problems I try to solve AI feels at best like a tool that can take care of some chores, and at worst: exploitative and actively harmful.

My current project is to help people live more sustainably. From that perspective, AI is an ecological disaster. At the same time, I think the way that AI removes our need to think,actively harm our public institutions. The more software I build, the more I understand the importance of understanding how things work, from the hardware to the software, in order to be able to fix it myself when something breaks. In that sense, I am skeptical of the way AI encourages us to just copy-paste without knowing what we are doing. It is like stackoverflow but on steroids.

When I find out a picture is AI generated, I cannot help but to feel that it looks cheap. It is about as interesting as a stock photo to me, and that makes me think that it will not be replacing art anytime soon.

These days I feel a relief that AI actually does not help me in what I try to achieve, my initial anxiety is gone. Instead I feel more pressure to make sure that my projects succeed so I do not end up in an organization where I have to use AI tools.

- Marc

23.08.2024. The Comma Directory Concepts Design

Bogotá, Colombia

Today Andrea and I designed the Concepts page. Looking around at other personal wikis, our shared sentiment was that there is a lot of amazing content, but that it can be hard to navigate because of the overwhelming amount of content, served in a rather flat layout.

By using a hierarchical structure, we are able to better break it down into sub-categories that are easier to navigate. The top has:

And under them there is a subcategory and finally the topic. Each log entry uses a tag underneath, so we are still able to display the same log entry in multiple topics, if necessary.

To design the layout, Andrea and I started to look for inspiration. I am rather infatuated by the old lisp machines, and especially the Genera Symbolics lisp.

Old image of a Lisp Machine, portrait aspect ratio
Fig 1. Symbolics LM-2 Processing System. Source.

I love the portrait aspect ratio and the black and white look. So I wanted the design to make an homage to its beauty.

Searching for its design elements, we came across this.

Symbolics OS Documentation with three sections
Fig 2. Symbolics Computer Documentation. Source.

Andrea and I both find it beautiful. If you head over to the Concepts section, you can find how that served as inspiration to make the design. We are very happy with the result.

- Marc

22.08.2024. Measuring Software Energy I

Bogotá, Colombia

I've been interested lately at looking at the energy usage of software.

Since my current energy usage is invisible to me, it is hard to actually grasp just how bad the situation is. But I often am amazed at how inefficient many solutions are, they offer very little gain.

For example, to ensure that a service is always available, at my old job we had 3+ servers running in parallel, just in case one server hall gets hit by a tornado or other disasters.

Most services do not even need 99.99+% availability, they'd be fine with just 2 nines. Maybe that's what we should strive for?

Anyways, if we want to understand what we can do better, it is good to understand the energy footprint right now.

After some investigation I came by websitecarbon.com, which is extremely easy to use and gives some rough estimations. It estimates the cost of:

It links to Sustainable web design: Estimating digital emissions which I will need to look at closer.

I also asked a Permacomputing group if they had any recommendations. Almost immediately I was recommended a few tools for measuring energy usage:

Excited to dive deeper into these resources and see how I can understand and optimize.

- Marc

20.08.2024. Local-first Software I

Bogotá, Colombia

I read an interesting article on local-first software. I think it perfectly summarizes the issue with cloud software and the need for more offline-friendly software.

Especially mentioning Git, I think it is great, as it is a prime example of successful offline-friendly collaboration. Github of course ruins it slightly, by having PRs be done online.

I was a bit sad it did not mention the dvcs fossil though, which contains chat and forums built-in that auto-sync when you go online. It is also extremely easy to self-host.

In conversations about local-first, I often find email and/or activitypub to be underrated as well. Email is offline friendly, I have it synced offline. I also think you could extend it to have apps on top of it, like a todo list app. Activitypub could be used to push the envelope even further, as it is a system to stream activities. You could have those activities be signed locally and sent when you go online.

- Marc

20.08.2024. Search-driven Development

Bogotá, Colombia

I listened to a podcast, the Corercusive episode on birth of Unix with Brian Kirnighan. An interesting point was that software development today often is more about looking up information rather than building something with your own intuition. You search the answer for each query, a.k.a. stackoverflow-driven development.

I start valuing more the software that does not require that, where you can read the manual and then understand how to use the programming language.

- Marc

19.08.2024. The Comma Directory Structure

Bogotá, Colombia

Design sketches of comma.directory. 3 boxes that describe the different layouts
Fig 1. Design sketch of comma.directory layout

Further crystallized the design of the webpage.

Comma.directory will be built up by composing together many small log entries. Each log entry contains observations, events, and thoughts that we label. Over time, these log entries build up a directory of concepts, which we categorize for easier navigation.

When entering the page of a concept through the directory, the log entries that led up to the idea would show up and and if the idea feels more fully explored, it might also contain a summary or conclusion.

- Marc